Who am I?

What is man, that you are mindful of him? The son of man that you care for him? -Psalm 8:4

An excerpt from my journal, December 8, 2008

When I sit and meditate on the majesty, the greatness, and the perfect character of my Savior and God, I am overwhelmed by a feeling of insignificance and incredibly honored to be called His own.
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God is sovereign. He is righteous. He is just. He is omnipresent, omnipowerful, and omnipotent. He is immutable and truthful; merciful, compassionate, and faithful. God is LOVE. God is solitary in His excellency and holiness. 'Who is like unto Thee, O LORD, among the gods? who is like Thee, glorious in holiness, fearful in praises, doing wonders?' (Exo 15:11).

He is sinless, and I am a sinner who only by His grace was forgiven and saved. He is flawless and I can't even type a short email without making a mistake. He is selfless; I struggle daily with pride, anger, discontentment, and selfishness.

Today as I was driving from LaFortuna to Tamarindo I was listening to my Baptism CD. Not long after the song "Who Am I" (Casting Crowns) started playing, I rounded a mountain curve and the fog that I had been driving in for miles suddenly cleared, revealing a beautiful mountainside and a lake in the distance. As the song played on and I looked out my window, a rush came over me. My eyes filled with tears as the lyrics and sights simply overtook me. I found a place to pull over, to sit and savor this "moment" with God. Here's are the lyrics that moved me so...

Who am I, that the Lord of all the earth would care to know my name, would care to feel my hurt? Who am I, that the bright and morning star would choose to light the way for my ever wandering heart? Who am I, that the eyes that see my sin would look on me with love, and watch me rise again? Who am I, that the voice that calmed the sea would call out through the rain, and calm the storm in me?

Not because of who I am, but because of what You've done.

Not because of what I've done, but because of who You are.

I am a flower quickly fading, here today and gone tomorrow, a wave tossed in the ocean, a vapor in the wind. Still you hear me when I'm calling. Lord, you catch me when I'm falling. And you've told me who I am... I am yours. I am Yours.

What a humbling moment! Through tear filled eyes I prayed out loud...

Father, what a privilege it is to be Your child. And what a comfort to know I can jump into your loving arms and rest there forever. You care for me and call me Your beloved. I have nothing to fear, for you will guard and sheild me, and catch me when I fall. How underserving am I of such love and mercy.

Father, when I feel insignificant, remind me that I am Yours. When I search for my identity, show me who I am in You. And help me to rest in that knowledge, content and thankful...neither needing or asking to be anything more. Amen.

Coming next: Bought at a price

Real de Catorce

Letty and I spent the last two days in the old mining town of Real de Catorce, about 120km south of San Luis Potosi, Mexico (basically in the middle of nowhere). Once a town where silver was abundant (in the 17 and early 1800´s), it is now largely abandoned with only 1200 residents. The movie ¨The Mexican¨was filmed here (The Bandidas too), so the locals are familiar with the names Brad Pitt and Julia Roberts, even though they probably never saw the films.

The indigenous people here, called Huicholes, make beaded jewelry and art, and sell it to tourists who come here for a spiritual retreat or to explore the ruins (young Huichole child pictured).

The landscape is steep and hard to travel. The best way to see the town is by horseback, so Letty and I rented horses and rode to the highest point in town for a sunset view of the city below. The desert is beautifully landscaped with cacti and yucca and at an altitude of 2700 m the town offers a beautiful view of the central highlands below. The starry night sky is spectacular.

Following a morning hike to visit the home of a local woman we met yesterday at our hotel, we stopped to observe a fiesta at the local school. The children were celebrating the start of Posada (literally translated "a stopping place"), a 9 day celebration commemorating the travel of Mary and Joseph to Bethlehem. They reinact the quest for shelter in a litany of songs at designated homes. Singing...

Cantemos con alegríatodos al considerarque Jesús, José y Maríanos vinieron a honrar.

Let us sing with joy, all bearing in mind that Jesus, Joseph and Maryhonor us by having come.

God is all around us

How many are your works, oh Lord! In wisdom you made them all; the earth is full of your creatures. - Psalm 104: 24

Hoy ví a Dios (Today I saw God)...

In a pair of mating red-eyed tree frogs; In a clearing in the forest showing a beach far below; In the face of a dog sleeping contently on a sunny beach; In the warm smile of a jewelry vendor from Uraguay who sold me a bracelet and later joined me for coffee

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Señor, ¡qué numerosas son tus obras! Tú las hiciste a todas sabiamente, tus criaturas se ven en todas partes. - Salmo 104: 24

Hoy escuché Dios (Today I heard God)...

In the laughter of children playing in the streets; In the sounds of the holler monkeys (they are so loud!); In the call of a toucan; In the chirping croak of a glass frog; In the sound of waves crashing on the shore

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Hoy sentí a Dios (Today I felt God)... All around me!

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Señor, gracias por tu creación. Estoy estremecida por todo de lo que eres y todo a mi alrededor. Tu hermosura es incomparable.

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Father, thank you for your creation. I am in awe of all that You are and all that surrounds me. Your beauty is beyond compare.

(an excerpt from my journal Dec 12,2008)

Visitando a mi amiga, Letty

First, I want to wish my sister Lara a very Happy Birthday today! I mean, ¡Feliz cumpleaños! Are you celebrating your 29th again?

I flew in to San Luis Potosi, Mexico yesterday to visit my good friend Letty, planning for a one week stay with her here. She was born in this city, and recently returned home, considering a long-term stay in Mexico. But after only two short weeks here she's decided it's time to return to Austin. So, our time here will be brief, because instead of flying home at the end of the week, I've decided to join her for the 17 hour drive back to Texas. We'll leave tomorrow morning and we have a few stops planned on the way. It will be an adventure, no doubt.

This morning we enjoyed a nice run in the park, followed by a tall glass of fresh fruit juice, granola and yogurt. Tonight we will visit more with local friends, and watch the Christmas light show at the oldest church in town.

Please pray for our safety as we return home, and stay tuned to my Blog as I back fill it with excerpts from my Costa Rica journaling.

You Tarzan; me Jane!

A must-do tree top adventure: the zip-lines!
You simply can't go to Costa Rica and pass on a canopy tour. Zip lines were even more exhilarating than I imagined they would be. I almost backed out of my tour because it had been intermittently raining that afternoon, but I decided to take my chances on the weather. I'm so glad I did, because as soon as we reached the first platform coming off the Sky Trek shuttle, the clouds blew away and we had a spectacular panoramic view of Lake Arenal. Then the holler monkeys came out to play and to keep us company in the treetops.

There were 8 cables on this tour, which we completed in about 2 hours. It took longer than it should have because on one of the longest runs the lady in front of me lifted her legs and slowed herself too soon. Then she panicked and forgot to grab the cable in front of her. She started picking up speed in reverse and went backwards for 300km where she came to a stop at the nadir of the cable. Two guides left our platform to rescue her when it was apparent that she had lost her grip strength and couldn't work her way back. I can only imagine what it would have felt like to be suspended by a harness hundreds of feet above the highest trees in the jungle! I must admit, it was a little hard going next on that run.

I couldn't have enjoyed the experience more. The above video was taken on my camera on our last cable run. The narration and filming was done by the guide who followed me on the zip line.

Under the full moon

There aren't many things I'd stay up to 2am to see, but a nesting Leatherback turtle is one of them. It was simply amazing! I took a guided tour to Playa Grande, just north of Tamarindo, where the endangered Leatherback turtle is studied and protected. That night at least three female turtles came to shore between 10pm and 3am, and our group was allowed to observe one of them. The turtle we followed slowly worked her way up from the water and dug her nest in the soft sand well above the high-tide line. Our group of 12 followed along.

The lead biologist confirmed that she was already microchipped, took measurements (she was 1.75 meters long, 1 meter wide), and counted the eggs as she laid them (62 in total, about 2 inches wide each). She worked hard with her flippers to carefully back-fill the nest, disguising it from predators with a scattering of sand. We were able to get right up next to her. Our lighting was that of a full moon and a single infrared headlight.

Her eggs will hatch in about sixty to seventy days. About 85% of these will be viable, but sadly only 1% of the hatchlings will survive to adulthood. I am told that the ambient temperature of the nest determines the sex of the hatchlings...how crazy is that? This female turtle is likely to return to shore 3-6 more times over the next month to lay additional eggs. If only I could be there to see the eggs hatch and the babies trek down to the water.

Ahh...la playa!

Yesterday I drove 4 hours from La Fortuna/Lake & Volcan Arenal to the Pacific coast, where I will be spending the next two days in the small surf town of Tamarindo. WiFi has been down the last few days due to the inland rains, but I have been journaling. I´ll catch up on my Blog soon and I´ll also post my first set of photos on KodakGallery, including pictures from Sunday´s canopy tour/zip lines!

I have a full day planned today: I´m biking to Sugar Beach, a white sand beach where I´ll kayak and snorkel, and then returning to take a late night ¨tortuga tour¨. A group of us will head out at 9pm to see the Leatherback Turtles come to shore to lay eggs! I can hardly wait!

¨Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable--if anything is excellent or praiseworthy--think about such things. Whatever you have learned or received or heard from me, or seen in me--put it in to practice. And the God of peace will be with you.¨ Phil. 4:8-9

By Grace You Have Been Saved...

For it is by grace you have been saved, through faith—and this not from yourselves, it is the gift of God—not by works, so that no one can boast. -Ephesians 2:8-9

An excerpt from my journal, December 3, 2008...

Father, I owe you everything. Without your grace sacrifice, my life on earth would be meaningless, and my future one of great suffering. But because of your mercy and unconditional love, I am offered salvation. Having accepted this gift, I am promised a future of peace, a forever-after in relationship with You. My future is certain and secure! You paid the price: bought me and rescued me from sin. Not because of who I am, but because of who You are. That is grace.

I can rest tonight, and every night, in the promise of eternal life. What more could I ask for and how can I not celebrate this very minute? The significance of this alone should bring me to my knees again and again. It should move me to tell the world of Your love. To shout from the rooftops, "I´m alive, forgiven, set free!" Why would I keep this good news to myself? Who wouldn´t want to receive this gift, the gift of life eternal? Let me awake tomorrow eager to share this news and spread Your love.

Up with the Birds!

Satisfy us in the morning with your unfailing love, that we may sing for joy and be glad all our days. – Psalm 90:14

Today I awoke early and had quiet time with God before the sun came up. While Costa Rica shares the same time zone as Texas, the sun rises much earlier here, and it is light by 0530. It’s the best time of the day as the skies are usually clear and the hummingbirds and squirrels come out to play. My mind is fresh- not yet exhausted from hours of thinking, writing, and talking in Spanish.

I’m starting my day today with a strong cup of coffee, yogurt, cereal, and fresh fruit. Every day they serve papaya, pineapple, melon, and banana along with a typical Costa Rican hot breakfast dish at the gazebo outside my villa. There are few other students this week, so usually I dine alone. It’s so peaceful.

This morning I’m heading out to Volcan Paos for a half day excursion. I’ve decided to switch my schedule to afternoon Spanish classes because there is less rain and less cloud cover early in the day. BTW, WiFi is down right now so my Blogs may be delayed.



(above photo is of Greciás most famous church, taken at sunrise)

Where the Streets Have No Name

Bono wasn’t writing about Costa Rica in his popular song, but it’s entirely possible that he got the idea for it here! One of the craziest things about this country is that the residences and businesses do not have numeric addresses, and many of the streets do not even have names. I’m not talking about dirt roads, I mean major thoroughfares. ¡Sí, las principales calles! There are no street signs on the corners here, and all directions are given descriptively—a nightmare for anyone who doesn’t know the area well.

For example, when I asked for directions to a local bike shop today, here’s what I was told: Go past the fire station (la estación de bomberos) near the park (cerca del parque), continue one block north (una cuadra al norte), then turn right (a la derecha) and walk approximately 100 meters past the shoe store (la zapateria). As if it’s not enough work to translate all of this from Spanish into English in my head, I also have to remember the series of directions I was given. As you can imagine as I get closer to my destination I often have to stop and ask again.

I could go on an on about the impracticality of this, but I won’t. You might be amazed, however, to know that mail is also addressed in this same descriptive manner. Can you just picture the front of the envelope? And can you imagine the job of sorting mail here? Fortunately, most businesses use P.O. boxes.

I did, by the way, manage to find the bike shop. After switching out the pedals and pumping up the tires of Diego’s soft-tail mountain bike (the owner of the school loaned his bike to me for the week), I followed a long road out of the city to the nearby foothills where I rode for most of the afternoon. With the breeze tunneling through my helmet, the sun on my arms, and the music of my MP3 player in my ears, I felt the true freedom of vacation.

The freedom and contentment I feel when I´m biking alone on backroads is almost indescribable. Maybe you know it too. It´s in these moments that I feel God´s presence and hear His voice most clearly. It is where we best connect.

I rode along palm-lined streets, through lush tropical gardens, and in and out of sugar cane fields. The weather was perfect: 75, sunny and breezy. The hillside was colorful and varied. I rode past fields of strawberries, coffee plants, banana and citrus trees. As I stopped to take pictures (like this self portrait) I gave thanks to the One who designed it all. Costa Rica is a masterpiece- His masterpiece! After one final long ascent (think Bee Caves hill, squared!), I enjoyed the downhill trip home to Grecia, via The Street with No Name.

Listening for Him

"Settle yourself in solitude and you will come upon Him in yourself." -Teresa of Avila

Many of us who attend Gateway Church recently completed a 60 day experiment and sermon series titled Soul Revolution. The goal of the experiment, as described in John Burke’s book by the same name, is for participants to make a conscious effort to connect with God in some way every 60 minutes for 60 days. A lofty goal, for sure! As a church body we supported each other during these two months by meeting weekly in small groups or with spiritual running partners. We also shared our struggles and triumphs through online blogs at http://www.soulrevolution.net/.

In the last week of our study one of our small group activities challenged us individually to re-evaluate our life goals and consider who we hope to be three (or perhaps even ten) years from now. While I pondered this question briefly at that time, I decided to largely postpone the exercise until I started my vacation. Knowing I would have huge blocks of time to sit in solitude and prayerfully dream about my future, I waited until I arrived here to take this on.

Truly, this exercise is not entirely unfamiliar to me. I’ll shamelessly admit to being one of those people who religiously (no pun intended) sits down each December and makes a list of resolutions for the coming year. I think I´ve been doing this now for twenty years or more. Occasionally I’m even brave enough to post my list on the refrigerator, making it not only more visible to me, but adding an accountability factor.

But this experiment is different. It´s not about making a 12 month to do list (or even a 36 month one), it´s about going deeper. Deciding who I want to be involves setting life goals, and requires a lot more time for reflection and prayer. And therefore, more solitude.

A few days in to my vacation, I now have a rough-draft list. I reviewed it tonight as I settled in for a couple of hours of quiet time. I’m finding that the list grows and changes as I listen for God’s voice in the silence. Tonight I subdivided my list into sections, including: personal growth, career & finances, family & friends, spiritual gifts & evangelism. I’m sure I’ll make more changes as God’s voice becomes louder. Which, I am finding, is exactly what happens when I become quieter.

"The voice of God is that secret voice unheard by any other ear, which our own ear, opened by the Spirit of God recognizes with joy." --Charles Spurgeon

¡Los saludos de Grecia, Costa Rica!

I'm settling in to my villa today, where I'll spend the first five days of my trip. It's a lazy rainy Sunday which is a good thing since I have nothing much planned. I'll venture out for a little while to explore the town and to find a bike to rent for the week, but I'm quite happy to spend most of the day indoors with a cup of coffee and a book. A true "sabbath" day!

The view from my living room is a beautifully landscaped courtyard with fruit trees, palms, and many other brightly colored flowering plants I cannot yet name. The language school is a little slow right now so I have only one neighbor: a teacher from Napa, California, that came to visit 9 months ago and can't seem to leave. She invited me over for pumpkin soup last night, thrilled to have the company of a gringa - que habla inglés también! I'm sure the feeling will be mutual soon.


Tomorrow morning I'll take my Spanish placement test so the intructor knows where to begin for my half day classes. I'm resisting the urge to study today. Go ahead, laugh at that, but Did they really have to tell me there is a test Monday? This is vacation, for crying out loud! Surely there isn't a test at the end, too!? ¡Ay, caramba!

Sab⋅bat⋅i⋅cal

NOUN- a time of rest; an extended period of leave from one's customary work, for study, rest, or travel

"Come to Me, all you who are weary and heavy-laden and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from Me, for I am gentle and humble in heart; and you shall find rest for your souls. For My yoke is easy, and My load is light." - Matt. 11: 28-30

I've spent the last few days preparing my mind and soul for this coming vacation, this time of rest. Thinking about the purpose of my trip and asking that He will draw near to me as I draw nearer to Him. I have a plane ticket to Costa Rica and a villa at the language school in Grecia for the first 5 days. The rest of my trip is largely unplanned. I'll follow His lead as He shows me what I need, and as adventure unfolds. Be with me in prayer and follow along here!

Home to Houston

I spent Friday at my aunt Daurice's where my Houston family met to enjoy Thanksgiving leftovers. At first, the gathering was bittersweet as we joined the White family in mourning the loss of their border collie, Khaki, who was hit by a car on Thanksgiving day. Khaki was family too, and she will be missed by all.

The sadness was replaced by joy when my sister and her new baby arrived. Lara and Luis introduced Tristan to his cousin Presley, now 2 months old. "Tia Renee" is smitten over her new niece!

I enjoyed catching up with my cousins: Bethany is in her first year of law school and is busy studying for her first set of exams (there is still time to intercede on her behalf!). Her brother Collin is slowly accumulating the hours in flight needed to be a commercial pilot, and applying for air traffic control school. Their parents are busy remodeling a home...again.

Friday night we shifted gears from a season of Giving Thanks to the season and spirit of Christmas by attending the Casting Crowns et al Christmas Concert. It prepared my heart for the coming celebration of Christ's birth; may the following lines from my favorite song played do the same for you. The song is titled "Christmas Offering".

We bring an offering of worship to our King- No one on earth deserves the praises that we sing-Jesus may you receive the honor that you're due- O Lord I bring an offering to you-The sun cannot compare to the glory of your love- There is no shadow in your presence-No mortal man would dare to stand before your throne- Before the Holy One of heaven-It's only by Your blood- It's only through Your mercy- Lord, I come

Austin Thanksgiving

The Austin Family includes: Sheila, Sonja, Renee, Eric, Amy, Mas, Isaac, Jake & Tristan
Houston guests: Janie & Glenn Lockey

Thanksgiving memories

Hands down, Thanksgiving is my favorite holiday. In fact, this is my favorite week of the entire year! I like how things just seem to slow down a little...sometimes a lot. I love the simple spirit of the holiday, the way it highlights family and beckons a heart of gratitude, joy, and peace.

Several years ago our family decided that we would spend every other Thanksgiving at Big Bend National Park. Some of my favorite holiday memories have been made on these trips, such as canoeing the Rio Grande River with my sister & her husband, mountain biking the Lajitas trails with my mom, exploring hidden "caves" with Tristan and his grammy, and following Eric's lead on hikes through the park as he accurately identifies each unique desert plant (lechugilla, sotol, chollas, candellila...).

I have warm memories of preparing the evening meals with my aunt Daurice and cousin Bethany, of gathering at night for a family game of Taboo, and gazing up at a star studded Texas sky before going to bed. The first year we visited Big Bend we dressed in tank tops. Last year it snowed. Big Bend is a wonderful playground, full of surprises and ripe for adventure. It's the perfect place to reflect on God's goodness, the ideal setting for a Thanksgiving gathering of family and friends.

Father, thank you for the annual reminder of your faithfulness. Thank you for the opportunity to gather, to share a meal, to enjoy each other. Thank you for the desert, for Texas, for my family. Thank you for your abundant love.

View more of my Thanksgiving photos from Big Bend: http://www.reneeandcindy.com/bigbend.html

We're thankful!

An EXERCISE in Giving THANKS

In 2003, at the suggestion of our local church pastor, our family started a Thanksgiving tradition that we hope your family will also embrace and enjoy. Every year we sit down together and list items for which we are thankful (family, friends, pets, jobs, talents, vacations, toys, our church, health, etc). Writing each item on a Post-It note, we simply acknowledge God’s goodness for providing that item and thank Him for all that we are given. We then decorate our refrigerator (or a wall) with the stickies, leaving them there through the holidays as a reminder of all the ways we are blessed and that “Every good and perfect gift is from Him” (James 1:17).

Have a joyful Thanksgiving! (photo of Tristan, age 6)

Urban Submersion Weekend

This weekend Tristan and I joined others from Gateway Church to connect with Mission Possible! for a weekend of service projects in East Austin. The experience was varied: from garage cleanouts, to children's programs to food delivery to Church Under the Bridge, we got a taste in two days of what happens there all year round. God is at work at 12th and Chicon!

View more of my Urban Submersion photos at:
http://www.reneeandcindy.com/UrbanSubmersion.html

Meet Alber!

This summer my family and I joined Mission of Mercy and KSBJ for a mission trip to Honduras. There we served at four of the ten project sites in the capital city of Tegucigalpa, in outreach programs to the children. We taught Vacation Bible School and helped restore the sites and worship centers. While there we were fortunate to meet our own sponsored child, Alber, age 4, to meet his family and to visit his home. He walked us from the project site to his house, about 15 minutes away. This short video shows him greeting us there with a huge smile. Is that not the most precious child?

Today I give my life

Renee and Tristan baptized together on July 20, 2008
Gateway Church, Austin

"Repent and be baptized, every one of you, in the name of Jesus Christ for the forgiveness of your sins, and you will receive the gift of the Holy Spirit." - Acts 2:38

“The fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, self-control; against such things there is no law.” - Galatians 5:22-23